you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
