six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
