Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
