OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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