I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
