If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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