Sponge bath it is.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
