he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
