Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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