Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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