I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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