Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
