I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
