Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
