Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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