I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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