4 words: hood of his car
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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