Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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