I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
