marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize