OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
