I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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