Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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