Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
