dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
