I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
