farters have to be the big spoon...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
