I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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