We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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