Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
