would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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