Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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