I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
