IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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