the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize