So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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