she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize