Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
