i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
