You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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