the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I need a beard to bite.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
