i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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