just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
vagina is talking i cant
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
