I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize