Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
