i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize