ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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