The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
