Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
