I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
