Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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