I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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