This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
