I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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