Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize