need another drink. this is the easiest way
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
