at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
