I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
When are your genitals available?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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