also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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